Losing Your English

An odd phenomenon exists among the volunteers here in Panama. We spend so much time speaking Spanish, that when we get the chance to speak English, sometimes things come out a little strange. We can´t think of the word we need, or we translate directly from how something is said in Spanish, and we end up sounding like an outsourced customer service representative. Here are some recent examples:

-When trying to say something angers me, I said, ¨It gives me rabies.¨ In Spanish, you would say me da rabia. It gives me anger.

-In Spanish, the word for ¨to train¨is capacitar, and we use it all the time. I caught a friend of mine referencing how many people we have ¨capacitated,¨and interjected that it sounded like an awkward use of the word in English. She indignantly insisted that it is the only way to say it, and demanded to see my dictionary. When she didn´t find what she was looking for, she agressively responded, ¨WELL THAN HOW DO YOU SAY IT?!¨¨

¨I guess it´s more common to say trained,¨ I said.

¨Oh.¨ She looked confused and disappointed. When we describe our PC service on future cover letters, we better be sure to get them proofread. Volunteers?

- A lot of words I just don´t know in English, or I used them so rarely in the U.S. that I forgot how to say them. All my experience with them has been in Spanish. This happens mostly with technical words like spring box, or a tool which I know only as a koa, but is a pick used to break up earth. What´s that thing called anyway? Similarly, I can never remember the word in English for to plaster because that´s a word I used sparingly until I became a part-time mason here in Panama. I try to tell my English-speaking friends about how the repellando went and they remain quiet waiting for me to elaborate. I fail to realize I need to.

-When discussing options about how to keep my lice shampoo in over night (don´t ask), my friend suggested I wrap my head in a plastic bag. I responded, ¨But that will give me so much heat during the night.¨She paused and waited to see if I would notice what I said. I did not. A few more months here and I will start introducing myself by saying, ¨I am called Catherine. I have 23 years. It is pleasing to me to meet new people.¨

-Volunteers speak Spanglish when we are around each other. There are some ideas or sentiments which we only ever express in Spanish. One of them is cumplir con su compromiso, which means to fulfill your commitments. In English, I never had to remind anyone to follow through with what they say they will do. But that idea is a theme I return to over and over when I am busy capacitating the people. An example of what we might say, ¨Pancho really understands what Peace Corps is about and is motivated, but he has a real problem cumplir´ing with his compromisos.¨

- Double negatives. A friend was recently complaining about a hamburger she ordered that came with little in the way of condiments or french fries. She said, ¨It came WITHOUT NOTHING!¨ Una hamburguesa sin nada is correct. The former is not.

Spanish also changes the way you look at things because it is such a passive langauge. In English, if something breaks while you´re using it, you might say ¨I broke it.¨ In Spanish, you say it was damaged to me. Se me dañó. If you forget your keys, you might say you left them behind or forgot them. But in Spanish? Nothing is ever your fault. They stayed behind to you. Se te quedaron. The keys just decided not to come with you today. Your absentmindedness has nothing to do with it. Similarly, if your are sick, you don´t get better of your own volition. The sickenss removes itself from you. Se te quitó. This isn´t just campesino Spanish either. Doctors say it exactly the same way, which makes you wonder if they believe in the efficacy of the medicines they prescribe, or if they are just biding time until your scabies descides to resolve itself.

It is always a shock when a word you used to know escapes you, and it happens to me now more than ever. Sometimes I hear myself put accents on the wrong words, or phrase something completely awkwardly. When I was home over Christmas, I played Bananagrams with my friends, a fast-paced version of Scrabble. I sat there bewildered with all of the tiles in front of me. The words that used to bounce around in my head and form themselves in front of me weren´t coming. I used to play so competitively that my friends had to gently remind me that my pace and agressiveness were frightening to new players, and maybe I should stop being such an intimidating shrew. Now I can´t even keep up.

Communication issues can be frustrating, but at least I have a new way of looking at it. The words have removed themselves from me, temporarily at least. But I am sure when they are ready, they will come back.