The doctor is out

Health is a fun topic. No matter who you are, or how much access to education you´ve had, you probably still harbor some baseless medical theories, or cling to a magical cure that you swear will knock out a fever, stomach ache, low bone density, or what-have-you better than anything else out there. In my magical Ngobe village, it is the exact same, but more extreme, because bush medicine reigns supreme, and people hate going to the doctor. I have trouble walking the line between enjoying their stories to intervening when they say something that is completely untrue and bordering on harmful.

So my neighbor Julio is a ball of energy, and he has taken to coming over several nights a week (despite my loosely-enforced stay-out-of -my -house-after-dark policy). He is always overflowing with questions and enthusiasm, and sometimes I can´t bring myself to turn him away. Eventually his wife and sleepy children parade in one by one, and I am left explaining every medical condition or strange news story he has ever encountered while the kids fall asleep on the cement floor.

Last week, I exceeded even my own expectations and explained The Pregnant Man, and led him slowly but surely through a conversation about sex, gender, and sexuality. Last night, he came over and all of a sudden said, "What about AIDS!!!"

What about AIDS, Julio? I should be thankful, because Peace Corps wants us to teach all about HIV/AIDS, sexually-transmitted diseases, and other sex and gender issues on the side, and his questions give me great practice. He told me all about how he never eats in Almirante, because the plates could have AIDS, and also that he used to fear sitting on warm seats because the heat could have AIDS!!

This soon led us into a larger discussion about health matters in general, because he knew I was sick and had to come back to the city today for a blood test. He told me not to wash my face or brush my teeth before, because otherwise they couldn´t take the blood. To which I responded with one of my favorite exclamations, "Mentira!" Lie! He then told me another story about a time he was going to donate blood, and couldn´t because his wife was pregnant. Another mentira! (Although that´s kind of a cute idea. His blood is "weak" because his señora is preggers... like sympathy pains!) Then, he said he hasn´t been feeling well and the solution would be to fill himself up with horse blood. Because, you know? Horses are really strong.

Please join me in a collective sigh.

Lucky for me, Julio is a smart guy and he usually latches on to my lessons quickly, and can laugh at himself when I tell him frankly that his theory is way-off.

Bush medicine is still very popular in my community, and Julio`s wife´s uncle apparently had an herbal cure for cancer, which he distributed to Ngobes, gringos, latinos, and Afro-Antilleans alike who flocked to him. This magical recipe died with him, unfortuately, and it seems The World Will Never Know.

But in all seriousness, they do have success with a lot of herbal remedies for stomach upset, diarrhea, topical infections, snake bites and other such merriment that comes along with living in the campo. The medicines often work, and people only go to the clinic as a last resort. Those treatments have been along a lot longer than modern medicine, and are well-respected in the Bocas region. I would like to learn a lot more about what they use and how they know (one otherwise down-to-earth guy told me he dreams the cures). Of course, Peace Corps medical policy tells me I have to go to a real doctor, which is okay by me, because I don´t want to wait around for Green Plant Number 342 to kill my giardia.

But as I plan charlas about health education, it is important to incorporate both lines of thinking-- traditional herbal cures, and other modern ways they can treat common problems like diarrhea with rehydration drinks, etc. You have to start with what they already know, and build from there. No one will listen if I say everything they know is wrong. Because of course it isn´t. They will always know way more about what medicine the earth offers than I ever will. But the horse blood thing? I am definitely right about that.