What you get used to

A look at the small life changes I've undergone:

I sharpen my pencils with a machete. I still talk in my sleep, but I wake up and hear myself speaking Spanish. I like washing my clothes in the river--it's an upper-body workout and takes all morning. I don't know why people say they couldn't live without electricity; I rarely think about it. Roosters wake me up every morning, and I never make it past nine at night unless my book is good, the stovetop coffee is strong, and the bugs aren't bad. I will pee absolutely anywhere. I've started hiking in skirts like a good Ngobe meri (woman). It's cooler than pants and easier than you think. Children and strangers pat my blonde arm hair in the bus terminals. I don't get mad anymore. Lice is a reality, and I just reach for the Champiojo (champú + piojo- word for louse combined. Clever.) I know that for many community members, all I will be is a friend, a conversation, and someone to hassle about marriage prospects. I like it. Lentils are gourmet eating. I love and accept that my job requires me to talk about poop a lot, and to my community's delight, draw lots of pictures of people pooping. I am embarassed when I hear myself speak bad Spanish, but I also know that it's because I spend so much time listening to my community member's dodgy conjugations and subject/verb agreements. I am assimilating. I used to be afraid of fish but now, if pressed, I will stick my fingers in their gills and snap their necks. Sometimes I'm actually happy to eat boiled bananas. I have accepted the terms gringita, mami and amor as terms of endearment (coming from the right people). I can thermoform PVC tube better than anyone in my community even if the aqueduct VP continues to act like I am spewing nonsense. I am happy to be in a place without machines and computers to speed everything up and take the away the gratification of simple routines and small tasks. Life in Panama is good, even if sometimes I feel ridiculous, confused, or incapable.

Tomorrow my brothers arrive in, and I am taking a week of vacation to show them around. Destinations include Panama City, Cerro Punta and Boquete in the Chiriqi highlands, my site, and Bocas Island. A lengthy itinerary, a lot of excitement. Promise to take pictures. (Or better yet, have them do it since they have wayyyyy better Internoodle connections.) Just completed seven months in country, and can't wait to see them.

Til next time. Be good.